1) Chuck Norris doesn't wear underwear, he wears two pairs of pants. Because he refuses to wear diapers and is too senile to go to the bathroom. 2) Chuck Norris once started a staring contest with the Sun. He is now blind. 3) Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language. Because everybody felt sorry for him. 4) Chuck Norris starred in Star Wars as The Force. Lucas felt sorry for him and gave him the part so he would stop squatting at the set. 5) Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia and fear of Chuck Norris is called logic. Because he forgot his meds again. 6) Chuck Norris smashed a mirror over a black cats head while standing under a ladder then won the lottery. Then he was arrested for animal abuse, forced to pay damages for the mirror and his lottery winnings totaled $25. 7) Graveyards originally had "Chuck Norris was here" signs but everyone knew that. He did horrible, terrifying things to the graves and corpses. 8) When Chuck Norris has high blood sugar, he beats it down. He now has diabetes. 9) The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas" until they met Chuck Norris. He was arrest for assault shortly after. 10) Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Waldo has been in the witness protection program since Chuck Norris burst into his home and killed his family during a bad trip. 11) Chuck Norris makes onions cry. He calls the captured children in his basement "onions" for unknown reasons. 12) Chuck Norris once arranged his M&Ms in alphabetical order. During his stay at a psyche ward.