Christians are dicks because

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by gert7, Nov 2, 2011.

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  1. gert7

    gert7
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    They'll only do good things if they can get into heaven.

    Discus [sic].
     
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  2. Khanzer

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    EDF official mascot

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    lol no, I'm Christian and I'm not a dick.
     
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  3. Dildo Baggins

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    Only Christians that suck the dick of the jew are dicks themselves
     
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  4. Straucher

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    Ediot

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  5. ChristianWarrior94

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    Emissary of Christ

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    I wouldn't call them dicks or Christians, but I see your point.
     
  6. kurisu

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    I come from the future.

    I have traveled back in time to visit @gert7
     
  7. Likeicare

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    Reminder that all hardcore christians molest kids
     
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  8. Dr.Weird

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    Protestants are the dicks, they're the ones who take the bible literally. I'm not even kidding, that's why Martin Luther broke off from the Catholic Church, dumbass thought the bible was the literal word of god.
     
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  9. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Lolwut?
     
  10. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    He also reformed brewing industry, so you better watch your fucking mouth.
     
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  11. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    He did? I did not know that. I do know he was a former friar and liked to drink, alot. He saw the devil once, and threw his inkwell at him. I'm pretty sure that was alcohol related.
     
  12. Shlomo Bernitz

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    Wait. So Catholic church only upholds and preaches the gospel ironically?

    Then again, as much as I remember my religion lessons and Catholic retreats, official treatment of the scripture went somewhat like this:

    -Sure, you can read the Bible and revere its message, if you MUST...
    -But disregard the Old Testament, because Jesus rendered it obsolete. Besides, it is just a clusterfuck of Jewish self-gratifying prattle, so you are not missing much.
    -And don't bother even touching on st. John's Apocalypse, because the prophecied event was to take place during Nero's reign and it didn't, which means that the whole chapter is a paperback filler.
    -Oh, and no need to read into what apostles dictated, because only Peter matters in the end.
    -Actually, just leave reading the Bible to the clergy. How convenient for you, having someone else interpret it for you so you don't have to! ;)
     
    #12 Shlomo Bernitz, Nov 9, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2017
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  13. gert7

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    god isn't real faggots
     
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  14. Call me Tim

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    LOL no.
     
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  15. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Spot on... For most denominations aside from hardcore fundies.
     
  16. Hitmonchan

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    Boxer by day. Boxerless at night.

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    OP is a dick. And a faggot.

    Protestantism is essentially white Christianity. Then blacks created Soul Baptism and sang about Jesus bitchslapping the devil. Catholicism is the best denomination because we're hated :cool:
     
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  17. Dr.Weird

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    I grew up being taught to treat the bible like a bunch of stories and metaphors, not the absolute law. Catholics aren't supposed to take it literally.
     
  18. Hitmonchan

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    So are we being bad Christians? Is there a No True Scotsman to this?
     
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  19. Dr.Weird

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    Well, all Christians suck HARD, but Protestants are the ones that picket funerals with signs depicting gay sex, so...
     
  20. Shlomo Bernitz

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    That sounds reasonable on the surface, but it basically means that institution of the Church is the only thing binding Catholicism together, while dogma itself keeps sponging up every spiritual detritus with any weight to it - like it was with Fatima where Mary would allegedly introduce her own set of commandments.
     

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