choose your own mint-scented adventure

Discussion in 'Your Shitty Projects' started by minty, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You go of investigate blue spy hole. When arrive comrades are standing around, seemingly waiting for something to happen. You skip the small talk and get straight to examination of spy hole. Getting closer to see if can peer through spy hole from certain angle, your comrades grab you and push you in.

    You are on bicycle and have hat on backwards, bicycle basket full of newspaper to deliver down street. You must be sure to throw at mailbox or porch and not break comrade's windows. If you do good job, tomorrow will have more subscribers.

    Do you:
    A. Focus on left side of road first
    B. Focus on right side of road first
     
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  2. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You go of investigate green spy hole. When arrive comrades are staring intently at hole with guns drawn. Apparently this was where nazi pig scum was found at. You are tasked with going inside to find more nazi. You are given weapon, helmet for protect self, canteen, and first aid kit for fixing wounds with. Fully stocked, you head into nazi spy hole.

    You are suddenly in desert with bright Sun which looks angry for some reason. Supplies are missing and you feel much shorter than normal. Ahead of you, see much taller man in raccoon suit. Ahead of raccoon man is hopping winged turtle. Secretly, you find yourself hoping the turtle kills him.

    Do you:
    A. Wait and see what happens
    B. Throw controller down and stomp out of room
     
  3. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    B Fuck Turtles!
     
  4. AbeWallard

    AbeWallard
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    Boxer by day. Boxerless at night.

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    Future President of the Internet
    A to see tanooki Mario fight a koopa.
     
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  5. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    B.

    I don't do love.
     
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  6. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    I missed my chance on another Minty's Wild Ride. Fuck you Job Corps.
     
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  7. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    you can take over nigglet's spot if you want... i saw him log in and look at this thread and not reply. he's had his chance
     
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  8. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    Then I'm going all in on B for Blue Waffle
     
  9. nigglet

    nigglet
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    Dramacrat

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    :( I forgot to hit reply.. I wanted to go left, dammit.
     
  10. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    i'll let you be the alternate reality version that took that direction...
     
  11. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You jump off and fall to your death. Your wishes did not come true.
    robotunicorn.


    as for the rest of you, i'm leaving for the week and when i come back i'll pick this back up
     
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  12. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    Home Page:
    :D :D

    <3
     
  13. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You jump on turtle and wings disappear. Raccoon tail flaps majesticly in wind. Rest of turtle intact. You jump again and pop turtle body out of shell. Continue on path, popping more turtle and stomping on weird little brown thingies of obvious enemy to glorious Mother Russia. Eventually come across green tube. Look sort of like passageway maybe.

    Enter?
    A. Yes
    B. No
     
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  14. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You follow tall raccoon suit comrade. He jumps on turtle twice. Turtle is tiny and terrible fighter like you are. You briefly mourn for turtle and proceed to follow comrade raccoon. He bravely stomps on everything in way, killing all life. Eventually you wonder if should separate from raccoon comrade. If leave, could possibly discover other areas and finally be glorious hero of Soviet Russia.

    Do you:
    A. Leave
    B. Keep following
     
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  15. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You begin pedal slowly down right side of street, throwing papers toward customer's houses. Must make sure news of dirty imperialist Americans reach comrades who want see it. You end up chased by dog while approaching open manhole on street. Secretly hope whichever comrade left manhole uncovered got sent to gulag for rest of life.

    Do you:
    A. Steer toward dog to avoid manhole
    B. Steer toward manhole to avoid dog
     
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  16. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You pedal down left side of road. You carefully throw papers onto porches. Soon see figure in front of you in black robe with scythe. You pedal around strange individual. He begins to follow you. It is soon clear to you he is dirty American bourgeois pig spy.

    Do you:
    A. Pedal faster to try and outrun
    B. Use Soviet combat training
     
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  17. corpsefriedchicken

    corpsefriedchicken
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    Reactionary cunt

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    B. duh
    For the glory of Stalin
     
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  18. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    you are not part of this story round
     
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  19. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    A : Penetration tiem!
     
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  20. nigglet

    nigglet
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    Dramacrat

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    B. For glory of mother Russia
     
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  21. AbeWallard

    AbeWallard
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    Boxer by day. Boxerless at night.

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    B, follow comrade @Moscow
     
  22. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You jump into tube of genre-change, land in Mines of Moria wearing robe and wizard hat. Comrade the Grey.
    You know the dwarves here dug too deep because capitalist greed. Must be careful to not awaken Balrog. Very dangerous. Using staff crystal as lamp, you quietly patrol.

    You follow tanooki comrade. He heads into tube. You follow.
    When jump into tube, stay small but feet get larger and hairier. You become hobbit comrade with deep longing for shire motherland.

    S: You stare at hobbit comrade.

    H: You stare at wizard comrade.

    /Hobbit comrade joins your party

    S:
    Do you:

    A. Try to find something to arm hobbit comrade with
    B. Try to find way out

    H:
    Do you:

    A. Be an inconvenience
    B. Try desperately not to be an inconvenience
     
  23. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You use Soviet Combat training, consist of throwing paper at enemy. He stop in tracks. You continue on route. Soon, dog start following you. Obviously spy for black-robed bourgeoisie from earlier. You use Soviet Combat training again on dog, hitting directly in face. Continuing again, you end up followed next by man on skateboard. Then a housewife in bathrobe. Pedal faster and outrun as well. They scream "revisionist" at you as you flee.
    You start wonder what is in paper would cause you to make enemies in Soviet neighborhood. Can't all be spies, can they?
    When reach end of street, there is obstacle course. You stop.

    Do you:

    A. Check what is on paper would cause enemies
    B. Complete obstacle course make Papa Stalin proud
     
  24. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    B. He can Bilbo dezz Baggins
     
  25. AbeWallard

    AbeWallard
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    Boxer by day. Boxerless at night.

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    A: fuck the police
     
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  26. Barrabas

    Barrabas
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    Girlvinyl

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    I am never going to look at the game Paperboy the same. Every time I play now, I will see myself as the frontlines of the Glorious Communist Propaganda Machine For Make News. I assume this will give me some sort of morale bonus. Thx, @minty.

    Edit: and come on, you know he gonna pick B. Making Papa Stalin proud isn't a choice.
     
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  27. nigglet

    nigglet
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    Dramacrat

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    B. ARE YOU PROUD YET PAPA?!
     
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  28. Tykysor

    Tykysor
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    Dramacrat

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    ooh I wannay play too next batch :D
     
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  29. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    next posts tomorrow
     
  30. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    S: You try to head through Mines fast as possible. Exit must be around here somewhere...

    H: Your frustration and napoleon complex finally explode. You start touching all the things. Wizard comrade tells you to stop, but you see handsword wrapped in skeleton fingers and decide to take.

    Hobbit comrade take sword, sending rest of precariously placed skeleton into giant pit for endless falling. Smashes into wall during fall echo loudly through all of mine hall.
    Wizard comrade is pissed.

    Distant sound of battle drums sound through mine along with noise of numerous footfalls heading towards party. You both run for life, hopping over cracks in floor while screams of orc capitalist traitors become closer.

    You come to fiery pit-chasm with small walkway across.

    S:
    Do you:

    A. Head across walkway
    B. Try to find an alternate route

    H:
    Do you:

    A. Equip sword
    B. Equip standard hobbit smoking pipe
     
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