choose your own mint-scented adventure

Discussion in 'Your Shitty Projects' started by minty, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    no... you're the tree

    next posts tomorrow
     
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  2. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You decide to take a beating until your Limit Break bar is full, since not retaliating fills your Limit Break bar quicker.
    She smacks you 3 times with her Rolling Pin. You take 4 damage, followed by 3, followed by 4. Your Limit Break bar is now full.
    Your HP is 66/80. Your MP is 60/60. You have two Limit Breaks.

    Do you:
    A. Use Limit Break: Break Bread (Break a loaf of Bread over your opponent's head, causing Holy Bread Magic damage + physical damage)
    B. Use Limit Break: Dough Blast (Throw a wad of Bread Dough at your opponent, doing Holy Bread Magic damage + casting Slow to reduce your opponent's speed)
     
  3. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You decide to wait until the Mouse has led you to the other loot so you don't get ripped off.
    The Mouse leads you back to the area where you met it, and further to a right turn and then up. (i'm arting this for visual direction but not the whole fucking maze... blow me)
    4.
    You head up, and loot the two Chests from earlier.
    5.
    You acquire a Record. It is titled "Beach Boys: Hits from the Beach"
    The other Chest has a can of Door Paint in it and a piece of Shrinking Cake.
    You put all the items in your inventory and follow the Mouse to the exit.
    ................................................................................................................
    You wake up at the tree on the island. Your Mouse companion looks at you expectantly.

    Do you:
    A. Upgrade your Mouse
    B. Wait a little while longer

    @scumhook
     
  4. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    anytime.


    I don't do deferred gratification.

    A. Upgrade your Mouse
     
  5. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Girlvinyl

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    Baking Bad.

    A. Time for Breaking Bread.
     
  6. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    starring walter whitebread
     
  7. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    next posts will be the day after tomorrow. i have my astronomy final, so plz enjoy this intermission opportunity and use it to blow each other or some gay shit
    *edit:
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    [​IMG]
    Yeah cinnamon rolls, bitch!
     
  9. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    "i am the one who kneads" -walter whitebread
     
  10. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    "Jessie, let's bake some biscuits"- Walter Whitebread
     
  11. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    it was destined to be.. :awesome:
     
  12. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    the appropriate way to study 'star stuff'
    [​IMG]
     
  13. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    making tea, next story posts shortly
     
  14. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You choose to Break Bread. It does 30 physical damage, 20 holy damage. Your Arch Nemesis stumbles and appears to be weakened, but she does not fall. You sense that you may be able to finish her off.

    Do you:
    A. Attack again
    B. Use Magic (Your MP is still full)
     
  15. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
    B. Breadas analingus*!
     
  16. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You give your Mouse its Upgrade. The teeth are now sharpened metal. +2 damage. Your Mouse climbs up onto your shoulder and beckons you to look up.
    You rise to your feet and turn to the tree. It has a Keyhole in it. You use your Silver Purple Crab Key, which then turns back into Purple Crab. Purple Crab takes its Paint Brush back and climbs onto your other shoulder. A door in the tree opens and you go inside. There is a spiral staircase and you go down it. A small empty room is at the bottom of the stairs. You look at your Tree Bark and it says "U S E R E C O R D"

    Do you:
    A. Give Purple Crab the can of Door Paint
    B. Eat the Shrinking Cake
    @feminist jazz hands
     
  17. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    Using your Holy Bread Mage abilities, you pick up a can of frosting and hurl it at your Arch Nemesis, cracking her in the face for 40 damage. She falls over, KO'd. You unzip your pants and lift her skirt, intent on teaching her a lesson. Red and blue flashing lights outside stop you in your tracks. The loudness of the fight caused next door neighbors to call the police.
    "She's a witch!" you scream as you are tackled by blue-suited officers.
    "She took the Bread Flour! It's not hers! She's a witch!" you scream as you are dragged out to a cop car with your pants slowly falling.
    You are shoved into the back of a cop car while one of the officers tells you something about your 'rights'... whatever those are. You already know your fate. You are going to the room with the padded walls again, and you'll have to take the pills that make you feel dead inside again, but as you are driven away you look back and see paramedics hauling your Arch Nemesis to the hospital and you feel content in the knowledge that you did the right thing. It was worth it and you'd do it again.
    A few months of playing nice inside and you will be free again to solve another case.

    End
     
  18. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    3 down, 1 to go with a maximum of two posts left

    dear next batch: your time is coming
     
  19. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    My McAngus is peppered
     
  20. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    :eek:
    ...
    A. Give Purple Crab the can of Door Paint
     
  21. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You give the Purple Crab the can of Door Paint and it paints a very small door on the room wall. You eat the Shrinking Cake and go through the door. When you go inside there is a Record Player. You put on the Beach Boys record you got earlier and you hear... nothing. When you go back through the door, Purple Crab and Black Mouse are waiting eagerly. They are much larger than you now and looking down on you like a hungry lion looking at a gazelle.
    Mouse uses his Upgraded teeth to snatch you by the neck. The blood flows freely from your neck and a sharp pain is felt in your stomach. Blood fills up your mouth and the last thing you see before everything goes black is Purple Crab pincing the bottom half of your body free from the intestine it's attached to.
    Your dream pans out on the island and the waves crash loudly on the beach, overshadowing the sound of bird song.
    And then you wake up.

    End
     
  22. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    @Killerratte @Skaves @Arcticphoenix95 @endsenten
    same rules as last time. pick one of the answers not picked by the others.

    You are tired. Your boss had called you out for a week-long merger meeting half-way across the state and now it is time for you to make the trip home. You have a long drive and the road is deserted. Tall trees enclose the two-lanes on its sides and the road's curves are tight. It's past 11 and there's clouds blocking any light that would have been in the sky and the high beams on your car are fucked. You turn your AC on to try and keep yourself awake. You see some lights up in the distance in a break in the tree line. It's a gas station. You stop to fill up your tank, stretch your legs and pick up some hot coffee.
    You chug the coffee but it doesn't do much good because a half an hour later you're exhausted again. The road starts to straighten out and your eyelids start to droop. You catch yourself starting to nod off repeatedly. You start climbing a slow-sloping hill and you turn the radio on. Anything to keep yourself awake at this point, even AM chatter shit will do. Static. You turn your eyes to the radio and fiddle with the car knob, trying to find some music or a voice or anything.
    SMACK THUD-UD-UDD​
    What the fuck? You look in the rearview and screech to a halt. Whatever you just hit was way too big to be a rabbit, but all you see is a piece of cardboard on top of a pile. On a side note, at least you're awake now.
    You get out to investigate, walking up slowly, following the blood trail. You come upon the pile and the cardboard. You pick up the cardboard. It says "ANYWHERE BUT HERE" and you look down at the pile. It's a short person. A midget. You hit a midget with your car.

    Do you:
    A. Ditch the body, get back in your car and continue driving
    B. Head back to the gas station and call the police
    C. Panic and run into the woods screaming
    D. Put the midget in the trunk to bring home and eat like all the other roadkill you hit
     
  23. endsenten

    endsenten
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    Knows where you sleep

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  24. Killerratte

    Killerratte
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    Dangerously unfunny

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  25. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    hello armin miewes
     
  26. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    Can I get in on round three?
    I'll give you:
    1SdUv3q.
     
  27. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    word nigga
    tag you when it's time
     
  28. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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  29. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    next posts tomorrow
     
  30. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    :eek: Oh noes, my lust for power have led us to our ultimate demise, @Scumhook.

    But we have to bring this bipolar character back to life again, sometimes.. we haven't even got to any real issue or conflict yet.. :D i was almost expecting something like this:
     
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