choose your own mint-scented adventure

Discussion in 'Your Shitty Projects' started by minty, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. metaljee

    metaljee
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    Allah

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    In all the witcher games I never killed a succubus but oh well I'm not immune if I fuck this one.

    I also found @Hater dead body easter egg, man I'm so good in this game.
     
  2. endsenten

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    Knows where you sleep

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    I want the next available seat, please.
     
  3. scumhook

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    B. Order eeffoc

    I never pass up a good eeffoc. Especially if I'm unsure of its origin...
     
  4. minty

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    toymaker

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    An attack in broad daylight would put you behind bars. Sure, you could hope for kitchen duty to be close to an oven again, but you could also get raped and you don't want that. Man-yeast doesn't make your dough rise, if you know what I mean.
    You plot against your Arch Nemesis while doing the Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation. You decide that there are two places you can attack your foe.

    Do you:
    A. Meet her as she's closing up shop alone in the dark night
    B. Follow her home and rush her while she's entering her house
     
  5. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You flag the waitress down and order the eeffoc. She gets on the table and squats. Her skirt is still too long for you to see up, though. A cup clanks onto the table and wobbles briefly before settling. You see a dark liquid drip slowly into the cup, then quicken into a steady stream, and top off with a few drips. The waitress grabs a single napkin from the holder and dabs between her legs while stepping off the table. You stare quietly at your cup, watching the steam rise from your eeffoc. Another patron tips and leaves through the jukebox.

    Do you:
    A. Enjoy your lunch
    B. Pay n GTFO

    @feminist jazz hands
     
  6. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    As a psychic detective vigilante, I'll provide justice from the shadows, a surprise man-yeast attack will dissuade her from her evil, whorish ways, 4ever. ᵇᶜ ᴵ'ᵐ ⁴ᵉᵛᵉʳ
     
  7. scumhook

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    oh FJH, please choose wisely, my long-locked cohort...
     
  8. minty

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    toymaker

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    he's out for the weekend, you're gonna have to be patient

    next post tomorrow... school stuff
     
  9. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    :stare:/:D
    ...
    well, i may be a total nutjob, but not that kind that would look down upon local customs and offend my hosts.
    A./Enjoy the lunch and eeffoc, i'm sure it smells wonderful. :awesome:
     
  10. minty

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    toymaker

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    You decide to start baking the sourdough while you run through your thoughts. If you get fired and thrown out for missing the lunch rush, you won't be able to stay late to lock up and ambush her as she's closing up. You know your Bakery and her Cookie Shop are the last two buildings on the block to close, and that when the time comes, the street will be mostly abandoned. You bide your time.

    Later

    After a stern talking-to from your boss about not being late again tomorrow, Mr. Douglas leaves you to lock-up. You have 15 minutes left. It is almost time.

    Do you:
    A. Take the Wooden Rolling Pin to assault your foe. It deals +2 damage and adds +1 defense.
    B. Take the Metal Mixing Spoon to assault your foe. It deals +1 damage and adds +2 defense.
     
  11. minty

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    toymaker

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    You take small nibbles and sips at first, eyeing the room to make sure nobody's looking. Eventually you eat the whole eip yrrebkcalb and drink the eeffoc and they both taste delicious. Periodically, the waitress walks backward to you and asks you if it yako setsat and you nod. When you're finished you dab your mouth with a napkin and watch another patron slip into the Jukebox. This time backwards. He doesn't emerge on the other side of the glass. You pay and now it's time for you to go.

    Do you:

    A. Enter the Jukebox forward
    B. Enter the Jukebox backward
     
  12. minty

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    toymaker

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    fuckin' forgot to tag...
    @scumhook ^up there
     
  13. scumhook

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    :eek:t esoohc I

    B. Enter the Jukebox backward
     
  14. scumhook

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    lolfuck

    : ot esoohc I

    B. Enter the Jukebox backward
     
  15. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    B. +1 damage +2 def, after that the spooning will begin.
     
  16. minty

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    toymaker

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    You hastily put on your Coat and Hat, completely forgetting to take off your Apron. You pick up the Metal Mixing Spoon, turn up your collar for outside sneaking, and lock up, heading down the street. You move swiftly down the street, sticking to the shadows. You see the lights turn off in the Cookie Shop and the door start to open. There She is. Your Arch Nemesis. She props the door open with a wedge and takes a trash bag into the alley. Now is your chance. You slip through the cracked door and wait in the dark. She opens the door and you swing your Spoon wildly.
    *THWACK* -10 HP Critical Hit
    She turns at you and shrieks, pulling a rolling pin out from her Apron
    Boss Fight​
    She swings at you and hits for 3 damage. It is now your turn. Your HP is 77/80, MP 60/60. Your Limit Break bar is half full.

    Do you:
    A. Attack
    B. Cast Magic: Pillsbury Prayer for 6 MP (+1 def against physical attacks), Focus for 3 MP (+1 speed and 1/10 chance to dodge)
     
  17. LulzKiller

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    King Kunt

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    Wtf is her health status?

    B for Pillsbury prayer
     
  18. minty

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    toymaker

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    you can't choose what bf does and you can't tell her health equivalent because you don't have scan materia
    if you wanna partake in an adventure grab a ticket and wait in line
    You enter the Jukebox backward and are transported to a large white room with walls. It appears to be some sort of maze...
    1.

    Now you have to work your way out. Do you:
    A: Head to your right
    B. Head straight
    @feminist jazz hands
     
  19. feminist jazz hands

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    Moral Highlander

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    B. Head straight :)
     
  20. minty

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    toymaker

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    2.
    You head straight. A small, black mouse with red eyes runs up to you squeaking excitedly. He seems to want you to follow him, and he has been in the maze longer than you...

    Do you:
    A. Follow the mouse
    B. Continue on your way
    @scumhook
     
  21. scumhook

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    A. Follow the mouse

    Lead on, my furry little friend.

    minto - just in case you haven't waxed recently, I'm referring to the mouse in the story...
     
  22. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    3.
    You choose to follow the mouse.
    Black Laboratory Mouse has joined the Party​
    With Black Mouse in your Party, you acquire knowledge of the maze. Where you can and cannot travel becomes clearer now and your new companion leads you back past where you started from, coming to a Chest at a dead end. You open the Chest. Inside are Mouse Upgrade Parts​
    Acquire Mouse Upgrade Parts​
    Your Mouse seems to need these...​
    Do you:​
    A. Wait until the Mouse leads you to the other loot in the maze before Upgrading​
    B. Upgrade your Mouse now​
    @feminist jazz hands
     
  23. scumhook

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    oh fuck i'm loving this
    @feminist jazz hands you fucking cunt hurry up and choose you faggot <3
     
  24. feminist jazz hands

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    Moral Highlander

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    sorry, my judgement was clouded by tediousness and lost and lots of booze, yesterday. Only thing i was capable of was shitposting. :D And this is serious fucking business. :cool: I'll get right on it...
    A. Wait until the Mouse leads you to the other loot in the maze before Upgrading
    (I'm really looking forward to this fully-upgraded mouse companion :awesome: )
     
  25. scumhook

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    is it wrong for me to want a 3 way with minto and fjh?


    if so, then i don't wnat to be right...


    lead me into your dark passages, my evil overlords
     
  26. Bottom Feeder

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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]
    B. tanking
     
  27. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    so uhhh... you just wanna get hit until your limit break bar's full?
     
  28. Boudica

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    Girlvinyl

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    What's next?
     
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  29. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    this
    image.
     
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  30. scumhook

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    if i'm the girl on the tree and you're thhe guy in the mask, then fuck yeah i'm in bby


    my anus is preparedd