choose your own mint-scented adventure

Discussion in 'Your Shitty Projects' started by minty, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. Hater

    Hater
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    Cyber Bully

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    A. this is getting sexy
     
  2. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Girlvinyl

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    A. We will follow it to justice!
     
  3. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You move towards the door and open it. There's a single mattress with pillows on the floor in the middle. It's surrounded by lit candles. A window on the far wall overlooks the dancers in the field. There's red splatters over the walls, window, and a dark puddled stain of red on the mattress. You're creeped out now. Still, nothing so far could have made the thud you heard and you're stupidly curious, so you head over to the closet door and open it.
    The body of a naked man is on the floor with his innards hanging from a slice down his belly. His genitals are missing. There's a gash in his back and a chain hanging from the ceiling with a hook attached at the bottom is dripping red. The thud was the body falling from the hook.
    You cover the scream trying to leave your mouth with both your hands. If she can't hear you scream she won't hear you slip out the door. There's no more internal debate. You're fucking gone like yesterday. You tiptoe swiftly to the front door. It's locked. She fucking bolted it from the inside. You hear a voice behind you.
    "Ready to have some fun now? You don't really have much of a choice in the matter anymore."

    Do you:
    A. Prepare for combat
    B. Scream like a girl and shit yourself
     
  4. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    >A. Prepare for combat

    guess it's Fightin' time
     
  5. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    YOU CAN'T CHOOSE WHAT'S GOING ON IN OTHER PEOPLES' STORIES!

    wait til this batch is done in the funhouse, ffs
     
  6. Moscow

    Moscow
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    It's not just about football

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    :negative:
     
  7. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You approach the street. A lone car drives past and pulls over next to a beautiful woman flagging it down. She's gorgeous and you eyefuck her briefly. The shadow lets out a fake *ahem* to re-acquire your attention. You cross the street with your mysterious host and get closer to the weird dancers. You figured off in the distance that maybe there was some music you just weren't hearing, but you were wrong. They are dancing to nothing.
    The clouds over the sky clear a little, but the crescent moon and stars don't leave enough light to see their features. They're all wearing long black cloaks like your host is. The cloaks look like shadows wrapping up just enough of the dancers so you can't see any skin. The way they move it seems like they're trying to hide their hoods away from you so you can't see inside. The sound of the fabric makes light whooshes in the otherwise empty air.
    "So, uh, is this a cloak party?" you ask nervously on the approach.
    "If you want to see it that way. For now, sure," the shadow replies.
    "Do I get a cloak too?"
    "No, in fact, we'll all be removing our cloaks shortly."
    After that maybe you won't feel so left out, you think. You're about 10 paces away now and you can start to see why the movements of the dancers and host see off. You couldn't tell before, but it's incredibly visible now. All their knees bend backwards.
    A small wave of panic hits you and you stop walking. You turn around but the dancers have formed a circle around you. There's more of them than you thought before and their moves start to become more fast, more rugged. The whoosh becomes louder and you catch small glimpses inside the hoods of inhuman eyes and fur. You start to back up and you see lines of paint on the ground. You look around at the grass. You've been herded onto a large pentagram. Your host giggles and raises two hooves from its sleeves and pulls the hood back.
    A goat head is staring back at you.

    Do you:
    A. Try to suck up to your new goat overlords to save your ass
    B. Try to bluff your way out of the circle by mentioning your uncle has a large farm they could roam freely on for miles.
     
  8. Hater

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    Cyber Bully

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    B. Mostly cause thats surprisingly factual, Do I get to slaughter the animals, my uncle lets me slaughter the animals.
     
  9. metaljee

    metaljee
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    Allah

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    B cuz at this point fuck it

    and I don't hit girls
     
  10. Hater

    Hater
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    Cyber Bully

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    Fixed
     
  11. metaljee

    metaljee
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    Allah

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    OK I hit one girl, my ex but she liked it
     
  12. Hater

    Hater
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    Cyber Bully

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    God is great
     
  13. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    A
     
  14. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    next posts early-ish tomorrow morning my time
     
  15. scumhook

    scumhook
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    Managing account details

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    We need a :popcorn: post rating.
     
  16. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    almost noon is early... gimme a sec to make tea
     
  17. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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  18. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You pick up the silver Purple Crab key
    Purple Crab has joined the Party​
    You also pick up the Paint Brush and the Tree Bark. The music notes look closer together than the Crab had originally painted them and the letters now spell out "E T K A K E." You don't know what this means.​
    Unsure of where to go now, you wander aimlessly for a while. Eventually you grow tired and rest under a Shady Tree.​
    .................................................................................................................................​
    You're sitting in a booth in what looks like an old diner. You look around you. There is a waitress wiping off the table of the booth in front of you. A few patrons sitting at the counter smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. Behind you is a jukebox. It's not on.​
    A waitress walks up to you. Her name tag says "einnaeJ" and she has a warm friendly smile. She gets out her notepad and pen.​
    "?yrrehc ro eip yrrebkcalb ekil uoy dluoW"​
    Do you:​
    A. Order the eip yrrehc​
    B. Order the eip yrrebkcalb​

    @feminist jazz hands
     
  19. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    A./esaelp ,eip yrrehc 1
     
  20. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    Mr. Douglas clearly doesn't have his priorities straight. This kitchen isn't for baking at the moment! It's a crime scene! Crucial Evidence could be lost if you start moving stuff around right now!
    You put on your Rubber Gloves and get out your Magnifying Glass. It is investigation time. You crawl around on your hands and knees under the counter where the Flour is kept. You find a few crumbs of a white powder. You know it's not Flour and you know you didn't put it here. You keep your kitchen proper spotless as it should be when not in use. You dip your rubber glove in it and taste it. Just as you suspected. Confectioners sugar. Next to that you find a few fingerprints that you know aren't yours. You inspect them with your Magnifying Glass and know that you've seen them before. You could recognize these whorls and loops anywhere.
    It's your Arch Nemesis. That blasphemous Betty Crocker worshipping bitch down the street who runs the Cookie Shop! Anger wells up deep inside you. You picture her using your Flour, BREAD Flour, for baking those fucking Betty Crocker Chocolate Chip cookies and you scream.

    "What the hell is going on in there!?" Mr. Douglas asks from behind the counter.

    Do you:
    A. Race out of the Bakery wielding a Rolling Pin to confront your Arch Nemesis
    B. Bide your time and think of a proper plan
     
  21. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You hastily mention a beautiful green quaint farm with lots of long grass to eat and play in and the goats 'baaa' at you angrily. Your Speechcraft is too low to sway the collective of the Goat Cult. Hoods start getting lifted off and some cloaks drop to the ground. The goats close in on you and you hear voices calling out from different areas of the circle, giving their reasons for the impending slaughter:

    "no grass without Sun"
    "...needs blood"​
    "...offering..." ​
    "...the light cannot survive without..."​
    "the Sun demands it"​
    You swing wildly at the goats as they encircle you. You make contact with your host, who shrieks at you in a wild and goaty manner. A hoof flies out from the circle and connects with your gut, knocking the wind out of you and you drop to your knees. A second hoof hits you in your temple and you fall to your side. In the semi-blackness before the oblivion, you see your limbs get pulled to the points of the star. A blade gets dragged across your neck and you feel the warmth of your lifeblood spurt out of you. The last thought you have is "How can a goat hold a knife when they don't have thumbs?"​
    End​
     
  22. Schnookums

    Schnookums
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    weasel

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    this thread is so minty
     
  23. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You scream and... don't shit yourself. You did that before you came here. You turn around to face your psychopathic date and scream again. A bit of uncontrollable piss comes out.
    She stands before you completely naked. Her skin is black scales and she has what look like large bat wings emerging from her back.
    She walks toward you and you instinctively move away. You hurriedly formulate a very half-assed plan to ask her questions and stall her while you make your way to that window in the bedroom. The height wasn't too great. You can probably jump through and limp to your car.
    "What the fuck are you?!"
    "A succubus."
    "What do you want from me!?"
    "I feed off your sexual dreams, but you keep waking up before I'm done."
    You knew those asian shit dreams were unnatural, and now you know why.
    "If you feed off my dreams, then what do you want from me here? In real life?" You inch your way into the bedroom. Almost there.
    "I have everything required to put you into a medically-induced coma."
    "Why me? Why not someone else?" You scoot around the mattress, avoiding the candles.
    "You dream very vividly. More vividly than the others. It tastes delicious."
    The window is as close to you now as she is.

    Do you:
    A. Jump through the glass with no warning
    B. Throw the nearest grab-able object at her and then jump
     
  24. feminist jazz hands

    feminist jazz hands
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    Moral Highlander

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    [​IMG]
     
  25. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    You place your order and the waitress reaches her hand into her mouth and pulls out a plate followed by a slice of pie. It's blackberry. She sets it down in front of you and asks if you would like some eeffoc and for the moment you say no. Not because of lack of thirst but mostly because you're not sure where it will come from. She walks away backwards and you stare at your food, unsure now if you want to eat it or not. You are hungry, but how does mouth-food taste?
    A diner patron gets up, puts out their cigarette, tosses some 1$'s on the counter, and walks into the Jukebox, appearing outside the glass and heading away. You survey the diner again. There are no other doors.

    Do you:
    A. Eat the eip
    B. Order eeffoc
    C. Go into the Jukebox

    @scumhook
     
  26. metaljee

    metaljee
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    Allah

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    The source of the dream trophy achieved!!

    A. I don't remember something in the room that I can throw except candles.
    [​IMG]
     
  27. Bottom Feeder

    Bottom Feeder
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    Girlvinyl

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    While doing The Finger Pyramid of Evil Contemplation.
     
  28. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    The candles are too low for you to reach for one without her noticing. You slowly put your hands into your pocket while inching towards the window. In your right you grip your car keys. In your left you have the Trojan Ribbed for Her Pleasure 3-pack that you picked up on the way here. You throw the box of condoms at her head and dive through the window with your hands in front of your face to protect yourself. Glass shards rip through your hands, clothes and flesh and you hear her shrieking on your way down. You hit the roof of your car and pain shoots through your right shoulder but the adrenaline surging through your body takes over. You dive through your open driver side window and crank your keys in the ignition. Fuck the seatbelt. She dives after you and lands on the hood of your car. You steer wildly into the field. The cloaked dancers scatter to avoid your swerving death machine and after they clear you can see a dismembered body in the field. You scream and jerk the car toward a tree. Avoiding the clawed hand trying to grab into your car you hastily try to buckle yourself in before the crash.
    The car slams into the tree and your face slams into the steering wheel, beeping the horn like some macabre joke. Your lack of regular vehicular maintenance means your airbag didn't inflate, which now means your nose is broken and blood is oozing out. You look through what remains of your windshield. The succubus is pinned upside down to the tree with a branch through its stomach. Blood trickles down from the wound and mouth, dripping onto your car hood.
    Your car isn't going anywhere anymore so you unbuckle yourself and climb out. You have whiplash, a broken nose, several small gashes, some glass embedded in your hand, your right shoulder hurts like a bitch and may be dislocated from landing on your car and you're feeling quite dizzy. None of the cloaked people are in the field anymore, and there's no traffic in the area you can flag down for help. You pull your cell phone out of your pocket and dial emergency services. While you wait for them to arrive, you sit and watch the sun start to rise. You wonder why it was so late today. I mean, fuck, it's almost 7. It should've been up over an hour ago.

    End
     
  29. Arcticphoenix95

    Arcticphoenix95
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    Secretary of Fast Food and Sexual Assault

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    As an authoritarian I demand to be a part of your next adventure.
     
  30. minty

    minty
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    toymaker

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    ...k