China Invents Automatic Fap machine: FINALLY, OUR TIME HAS COME!

Discussion in 'Locker Room Talk' started by Rock, Sep 22, 2012.

  1. Rock

    Rock
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    Girlvinyl

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    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-sperm-extractor-donors-play-videos-help.html

    Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors.
    According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province.
    The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user.
    Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable.
    It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process.
    The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
    A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.'

    THE DOORS OPEN BOYS GET IN!!!!
     
  2. Ignacio Veracruz

    Ignacio Veracruz
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    Dramacrat

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    My penis is ready
     
  3. Slenderman

    Slenderman
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    EDF Hero

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    Imagine when that thing breaks down. :flame:
     
  4. Ignacio Veracruz

    Ignacio Veracruz
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    Dramacrat

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    I feel bad for whoever they get to clean this thing.
     
  5. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    And here I thought they were using nurses.

    :groucho:
     
  6. faggotmaximum

    faggotmaximum
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    it's probably just a piece of plastic with a dwarf inside it
     
  7. Ror

    Ror
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    So I'm assuming these things like, just play commercials then?

    Yeah, gotta be commercials.
     
  8. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Only a matter of time before they put that machine into one of these then BAM... persocoms. (Or replicants. Whatever floats your boat.)
     
  9. BunnyAnnihilation

    BunnyAnnihilation
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    Ediot

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    the way they say "extraction" sounds like they stick a tube in and suck it right out from there. :negative:
     
  10. Stephen

    Stephen
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    So who wants to buy me one?

    Also, who wants to clean it out every day?
     
  11. Walty

    Walty
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  12. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    It's all fun and games until the machine goes rogue and starts tearing people's dicks off.
     
  13. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    This is what will eventually happen:

    [​IMG]

    (Finally found this picture.)
     
    • Autism Autism x 5
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  14. Stephen

    Stephen
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    EDF Hero

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    I came
     
  15. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    Girlvinyl

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    For a minute I thought the Chinamen patented hands.
     
  16. Murdoc esp

    Murdoc esp
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    EDF Elite

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    China????, wtf Japan I thought you will come up with this first
     
  17. Ktastic

    Ktastic
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    Hah! Fucking wrong.

    Good ol' murica did it first. And it has a video...

    Shit was on the Howard Stern show to
    Shits been produced since 1993. So good job China on taking almost two decades to copy our advanced masturbatory technologies.

    U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

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  18. $$Trooper

    $$Trooper
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    I'm $$Trooper, a badass commie nigger.

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    Gaw' dang it.