Bad kids should not get coal. Coal is bloody valuable. Bad kids should get a visit from Barney the magical AIDS elf, flying down from the heavens in his white, windowless van. He'll be seen beckoning from an open window. If you ignore him, Barney will drag you from your house and into his van, where he will proceed to rape you and give you aids the gift that keeps on giving. TL;DR This was my friend's idea - he was able to convey it in a far lulzier manner. I'm so terribly unfunny when I explain it, I should just hang myself now.