Aussies Will Be Pleased

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Immortal_Cake, Apr 25, 2013.

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  1. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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  2. Dr. Rice

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    Girlvinyl

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    I hope Obama annexes Australia.
     
  3. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    How long do you think THAT campaign would take? 4 hours?
     
  4. blackguy

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    i thought it was called alcatraz
     
  5. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    Would we even NEED the military for seizing Australia? Just set loose a shitload of rabbits and goats. Or maybe just drop a lit Zippo ANYWHERE in the country side.
     
  6. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    A lighted fart would suffice.

    Doing that in Best Korea, however, would start another world war.
     
  7. scumhook

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    Fuck all you seppo cunts.

    Also, everything thus far in this thread is true.
     
  8. Atomic_Joe

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    I don't think those people have the physical ability to crack off a fart with their...what...air and...rice diet?
     
  9. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    So far, it looks like there's about 20 signatures per hour.

    If it goes on at this rate, there will be no more than 20,000 signatures when the petition closes.
     
  10. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    I love how the Americans here are talking big when they couldn't even conquer Iraq or Afghanistan. Every time Americans face an opponent on nearly equal terms they fuck off with their chodes between their legs. The idea that they could conquer Tasmania is ludicrous but all of Australia? Lay off the Jack Daniels.
     
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  11. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    We did conquer Iraq. Ask Saddam Hussein.
     
  12. uberfukken

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    Rainmaker

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    Lol when did that happen
     
  13. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    Vietnam?
     
  14. uberfukken

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    we were fighting fucking farmers. how is that equal
     
  15. Atomic_Joe

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    Let's go off that "How to Conquer a Country" Checklist.

    1). Obliterate the organized military. -Oh, America has done that. A LOT. -Check.
    2). Cripple the infrastructure. -Carpet bombing, guided missiles, backdoor CIA bullshit. -Check.
    3). Cause outrageous butthurt amongst the populace. -Abu Gharib, The Pissing Incident(what I like to call the United State Urine Corps Incident lawl), any one of the cardboard box signs(Example: This soldier just raped my mother and killed my father and all I got was this stupid sign). -Mega super duper check.
    4). Impregnate their populace with horrible American seed. -Because you have to be BORN with democracy in your heart. -Check...not too proud of that one. I was lonely.
    5). Seize the good stuff. Historically, we've stolen LOTS of shit from other countries...opium from Afghanistan, oil from Iraq, women from Vietnam AND Korea, and all those sweet Nazi scientists from Germany(P.S: seriously, thank God for the Nazis. They gave us powdered breakfast drink*). -Super ultra sticky fingers check.
    6). Take all the credit. -Optional, but we do it because we can.

    And after blowing through all that, it's mostly just picking off the stragglers and "insurgents" or whatever corny title the major media outlets come up with. Personally, I am a fan of the "suicide expert" moniker.

    Australia has vegemite. We want that shit.

    *If you don't love Tang, you're a fucking idiot. I'm not even kidding.
     
  16. Atomic_Joe

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    EEeeeeehhhh...because most of our guys were strung out on LSD and Agent Orange? I don't know, man. Still...Vietnam gets chalked up as a win.
     
  17. Raab

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    Does America really need another Texas?
     
  18. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    America doesn't need anything but a hard kick in the ass to get its shit in line.
     
  19. Raab

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    Well, since it's an online petition, and an absurdly stupid one to boot, I think it's safe to say dick all is going come from any of it.
     
  20. scumhook

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    The Afghans and Iraqis aren't lazy fat dole bludgers.

    The yanks can have this sandpit.
     
  21. Baya Rae 4900

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    Yeah, you're right. Hey, Joe, how's the leg? Didn't you get it during the fiftieth reconquest of Iraq?

    Korea and Vietnam. All other wars were hopelessly one-sided. (America still got its ass kicked in most of them, though. For reasons I can't fully fathom.)

    America was fighting against the NVA as well, genius. As well as against the NV air force and navy. On and off. Actually, technically speaking, Americans did very little fighting in that war. They were busy killing civilians to meet quotas. Most of the fighting was done by the ARVN. If the ARVN wasn't there to cushion the strikes by the NVA/VC then there would've been a lot more than fifty thousand dead. A lot more whining, too.

    Would you agree that America fucked up Germany and Japan more than most? If so, observe the standard of living in both these nations when compared to your nation's standard of living, Joe. With every war America "wins" it becomes increasingly dystopian. Also, how's the leg? Do you need an iron lung yet? I've heard so many funny story about vets coming home only to be fucked around by the government they sent them to pointless wars. But hey, at least a bunch of dimwits greeted you at the airport with placards and shit. That's something, right? Makes up for the dementia pugilistica you might have later in life, right? I'm sure knowing that you've "won" a pointless war on the other side of the planet will console you when you put a barrel in your mouth.

    Also, nobody wants Vegemite. You're out of your fucking mind.

    Yeah, I'd like to see a platoon of US soldiers take on your typical suburban dole budging community. (With said community being armed to the teeth, of course.) My money's on the bludgers. Can you imagine what they would do if somebody interrupted their fortnightly payments? Especially if it was a foreigner?
     
  22. RiKio

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    If America ever conquers Australia, a new standard for pyrrhic victory will be set
     
  23. Thatdamnnigger

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    America annexing Australia? How could that happen? They don't even drive on the right side of the road
     
  24. blackguy

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    Australia is the result of people that was so white thrash that they were deported from their respected countries, only to start inbreeding with eachother, creating a darwin opposing class of the most washed down untermenschen this world have ever seen.
     
  25. Baya Rae 4900

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  26. blackguy

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  27. scumhook

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    This, this and this.

    Fucking come over and liberate us.
     
  28. Baya Rae 4900

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    Lawlman

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    I love how this is being discussed on ANZAC Day. Seems apt.

    Fuck, this day has been riding me for some reason. All I can think about is war and how horrible it is. Might have something to do with ANZAC Day being used by militarists/nationalists in order to guilt us into being militarists/nationalists. I can't stand the fucking hypocrisy. It's choking me. WTF are we doing parading vets around? Why? Because they suffered for us? Fuck off. They died and got hurt so Australian leaders could show the world how well they take the cock. Would we have been fighting against the Turks and Germans if the British hasn't forced us? Of course not. Would we have been fighting the Japanese and Germans if the British hadn't forced us? No. Would we have partook in the colonial wars in Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq if our leaders weren't trying to show off their pretty little skirts to America? Nope. Not only have we sent our young to die for nothing but we've also inflicted needless suffering or helped inflict needless suffering. Yay, let's have a parade to celebrate that. Maybe we can show off our Jap skull collection. Don't like skulls? Don't worry, we got Boer scalps and Vietnamese ears. It's all good.
     
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  29. MrGask

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    You need a hug?
     
  30. MrGask

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    Tasmania.

    Meh, we did it on D-day, I am sure we could do it again.