Asking for dating advice, because my precisely calculated graphs aren't giving me answers

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by fleacollerindustry, Jun 24, 2019.

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  1. fleacollerindustry

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    Nononkin

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    OK, long story short... the girl I dated back in college (we're talking 15 years ago now) is single and still incredibly hot. When we dated she seemed to have genuinely liked who I was... loved maybe? I guess she loved me... frankly I broke up with her because I was a dumb-ass 21 year old, and I've kinda regretted it ever since. A couple years after that when she moved and returned stuff of mine she still had, I think she was sizing me up, but I don't think I gave her the answers she wanted to her (the day we met up was literally the same day I started methadone treatment)... and so right around then she started dating some other guy. Almost a decade later, they're no longer together.

    Now I've talked to her every now and again since then and... well, she'll talk to me, as opposed to ignore me... but I can't help but feel like she's having a conversation with me for my benefit, as opposed to ACTUALLY wanting to talk to me. But then again, if she didn't want to talk to me at all, she wouldn't, right? On the other hand, she usually is the one to never reply to my most recent messages.

    Anyways, we're both in our mid-30s and single, but I can't tell if it's a good idea or not to try to reconnect with her. Like, what adult wants to go back out with their ex? I mean, we dated 15 years ago, but now we don't... so, THE END forever.... right? Or is it considered within the realm of a perfectly normal social experience for people to try to reconnect with their ex's? Right now, however, I feel like the feelings of ambiguity of not knowing is preferable to the high chance of shitty feelings of rejection, even if there's a small potential for success. Especially considering that maybe she has been giving me obvious signs of legitimate disinterest and yet I'm stupid enough to not recognize it.

    Probably the quickest thing to do is to sort of jump straight into the pool of lava and straight up see if she's still interested, despite the risk of whatever negative feelings that come out of it, just to get it over with.... but frankly I don't even know what I would say that wouldn't sound terrible or creepy. "hur dur date me again plz"

    Honestly I can't tell if I'm a loser for still thinking about her for so long after we dated, or because I'm asking you fags for personal advice.
     
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  2. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Oh lawds.

    Dude just ask her out.

    Worst that could happen she says no. Js. Unless ur a fgt n can't handle rejection.
     
  3. PonyGorilla

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    Dramacrat

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    Do you know where she lives? Chicks love it when you show up at their house unannounced and go "can I come in, I want to talk to you about something." THEEEN ask her out. It's gunna be gravy.
     
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  4. uberfukken

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    Unsolicited 2am dick pic
     
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  5. Barrabas

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    When two people have orbits that intersect each-other, who is to say if and when the objects orbiting will get stuck in each other's gravity? Best thing to do is try, since you will kick yourself if you never venture anything, and find out you missed a chance.

    On the other hand:

     
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  6. Groyper Supreme

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    This could be the closure she needs to dispel the "romantic memory of you" and could be really damaging. In that case if you want to meet her tread carefully.

    Or she is looking for something safe to rebound off of, which means tread carefully.

    The fact that she kept in contact with you over the years says she may see you as someone trustable in spite of what you did? And this maybe an indicator that she is willing to forgive you. Be honest with her, you were fucked up on H etc., but don't be a downer. Big plus, if you can tell her that the kid drug stuff is over. If not, then perhaps prepare for flat out rejection. So tread carefully.

    What's the worst that could happen? You could go out for drinks a couple of times, have the final good bye shag. Don't get your heart broke. Remember you're not the same person you were 10 years ago and neither is she. Plus, she maybe looking for a bebe daddy. Definitely, do more non-sexy adult stuff like talk to her about stuff.

    Good luck. And no you're not a loser. You just may have made a bad decision due to you being under the influence of drugs.
     
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  7. Groyper Supreme

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    "I'm asking you fags for personal advice."

    Well yeah on that point.
     
  8. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Naw 3 am. That way she's waded thru all the other drunken beta 2 am last call dongshots n can focus totally on ur tiny chiny chubby.


    Bonus if u send her a snapchat of u crying. With the flowercrown filter.
     
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  9. Killerratte

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  10. fleacollerindustry

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    Nononkin

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    That's actually not a bad idea. Do you know if they like it better if the visit is clothing optional?

    ...

    I'm a huge fag, that's why I made this post for advice.

    Seriously though, it's not that I could handle rejection... but like, consider the above post: I would like to act a certain way, but I have no reason to believe that anything I say or do wouldn't come off looking creepy like that and therefore ruin my chances. Not to mention I also have a habit of overcomplicating matters too, so basically I'm unsure what course of action is appropriate.
     
  11. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Don't ever let happiness evade u. Grab that shit by the testicles n make it ur biiiiaaatch.

    In love and in life nwords.
    @fleacollerindustry ask her fucking out n stop being a stereotypical neurotic azn math machine.
     
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  12. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    It's not creepy if u approach her like a human being instead of a damp hole.

    Sounds like u really dig her. You have a history together, ain't nothing wrong with that. You won't be what u were b4 together cuz u aren't the same ppl, like Tim said.

    'hey I like talking to you, you're a pretty awesome person, how bout we grab a drink or coffee some time I'd love to hang with you,' is that creepy?
     
  13. lotic

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    Show her all five pieces of Exodia
     
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  14. fleacollerindustry

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    Nononkin

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    But seriously... what should I say? Should I be casual? Short and sweet? Highly detailed? Write up a 11 page business plan with graphs and sources cited which accurately prove down to three decimal places that her life would be better with me?

    ...

    Well I didn't use until long after I broke up with her. Which I guess makes my break up all the more damning for me because it was done perfectly sober. I was just an idiot. In fact probably one reason why I started to use was to just sort of fill a hole that I noticed had formed.

    ...

    Y'know, I could make up any number of reasons as to why I didn't do that before, but I'll skip all that and instead say that I'll give that a try. ... Just as soon as I work up the courage. One thing I do know for a fact is that I shouldn't act on something that I know is emotionally charged until I've slept on it. Lots of bad things have happened whenever I acted impulsively on my emotions.

    That said, she does work at a beer garden that is maybe an hour's drive away from here, I could ask to grab a drink with her there or something.
     
  15. fleacollerindustry

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    Nononkin

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    My internal great debate was whether I should venture or not, or if I should just not waste her time. But even if the most obvious thing to do was to just ask her out again, hearing it from everyone definitely fortifies my confidence.

    Fuck, even better, I have six of the seven Dragon balls... but I can't find the seventh.
     
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  16. Radha the Buttwhisperer

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    Yeah it's best to examine if ur actions are emotionally motivated or actually true.

    However don't fixate too much on those thoughts or u get stuck.

    Sleep n then do it if u still wanna.
     
  17. Groyper Supreme

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    Confide in her your secret fursona.
     
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  18. Baka

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    just become a monk or something. it's only a few years until your sperm becomes defective and you have a high chance of creating a Chris-chan or @dropdatwat
     
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  19. Likeicare

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    >36 years old
    >dating advice on EDF

    Dont even bother

    You're a net negative to the gene pool
     
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  20. XxPrincessAtteaFanxX

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    Newfriend

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    you don't need a girlfriend
    you have EDF :)
     
  21. Janüs

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  22. corpsefriedchicken

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    You know it's funny, you two joke about this, but I knew a girl who gave me this as legit advice specifically saying to make it a short snapchat message in case she didn't like it so she wouldn't have time to screencap while she was still processing.
     
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  23. fleacollerindustry

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    Looking back I now realize how vulnerable I felt around her, which is why I kept doubting myself. What I find weird though is that is still feels like it all happened yesterday... but at the same time, I think I made myself feel this way. I need to remind myself that I'm the neurotic azn math machine, not everyone else.

    Anyways, I'll share the results, good or bad, because why not.

    ...

    It's women who have ovaries which expire. Sperm, on the other hand, never dies... hell, my sperm ages like a fine wine. That's why I collect bottles of it and keep them in my cellar.

    ...

    You say that now, but I calculate that we Asians will have the last laugh when we over populate the white race. White men can't resist our exotic Asian women. ... or our asian boi-pussy. Gimme a sec, I got a graph proving this somewhere....

    ...

    Unless you want to play with my balls and lie to me about how big my cock is (use centimeters instead of inches, it makes me feel bigger) then I don't think EDF can help me.

    Although... if things don't work out with my ex in the end....

    sexyFlea-thisTotallyIsMeAndNotAShutterstockPhoto.

    Heeeey EDF...

    ...

    Jokes on you I didn't lose my virginity until I was 30!

    ...

    lol

    man I'm dense, but not THAT dense.

    You gotta work up to a dickpic. Start with your asshole first.
     
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  24. Baka

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    @fleacollerindustry both mother and father being older increase the odds of having autistic,spastic children. you should just go for it asap unless you want your future offspring to have a thread on kiwifarms
     
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  25. Baya Rae 4900

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    This but unironically.
     
  26. dropdatwat

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    idk my mom and dad were 36 and 37 respectively when i was born and i turned out fine
     
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  27. Likeicare

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    EDF is my hugbox

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    I send my dick pics after i get home from work so it maximises the chances of someone behind them seeing it
     
  28. Schwarzwälder Kirsch

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    QED
     
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  29. Lurk

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    as @Baka was saying....
    dude, flea, if you're not gonna go the dikpix route then just ask her out for coffee or tea or a roofie. or you could just be like droppy and fill your room with cum wipes.
     
  30. fleacollerindustry

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    Nononkin

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    I mean, this could work to my advantage... I'm sure the ovaries of anyone over the age of 32 might be screaming wildly to get someone to put a baby inside them, which just makes me the azn math robot human MAN to do it. Man. Male. Because that's totally what I am, a human male, and not an advanced AI masquerading as one.

    Seriously though, I'm not too worried about genetic defects, only because my undoubtedly bi-racial kids will have strong genes by default. And I say this because all the single women I know that I'm interested in are Asian, thus ensuring strong, furthest-possibly-away-from-being-inbred genes.

    Actually super serious though, I'm not too worried about it because genetic testing can help prevent retarded kids. I am legitimately, albeit only slightly, worried that my kids will have autism, but I don't think it'll be an issue in the end. I mean, yeah, I know the kind of person I am... while I was never diagnosed with any kind of cognitive disability (actually I was promoted to California's "Gifted and Talented Education" program in elementary school) I do feel like it could still be an issue, as if whatever I've got that makes me Me will only be dialed up to 11 in my children. I just hope genetic testing for autism and other cognitive disabilities are effective enough by the time I have children. Though by the looks of it, it seems to be at a practical stage now:
    * https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320962.php

    ...

    Shit uh... well, 2am is less than two hours away. Think I can get one in on time? Thing is, I gotta find the macro lens for my cellphone...
     
    #30 fleacollerindustry, Jun 24, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2019
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