Arsewiping Poll

Discussion in 'Hard Gay Shitpost Metropolis' started by scumhook, Nov 8, 2011.

?

Preferred Arse Wiping Methodology

  1. Scrunch

    18.2%
  2. Fold

    72.7%
  3. Get my dog to lick it

    4.5%
  4. Fuck it. Let the dingleberries grow and my undies stick to my arse

    4.5%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. scumhook

    scumhook
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    "3 for a wipe, 2 for a polish" - The folders motto.

    This is srs biz. This poll will provide an insight into the thought processes of participants.

    All results will be collated, analysed, and then pix of boobies posted instead.
     
  2. KelpBurn

    KelpBurn
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    Dramacrat

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    I'm a horribly inefficient wiper. I usually pick five or six rolls and fold it once or twice since the cheap sandy crap they pass off as "toilet paper" either brakes or hurts my bum. I've gotten so used to it that I do it even with the softest things I could find.
     
  3. Beatrice

    Beatrice
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    I just grab a wad and go at it. I'm not gonna spend time sitting on the toilet neatly folding my toilet paper.
     
  4. KelpBurn

    KelpBurn
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    Dramacrat

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    D:
    Bu-but what happens if some of the poop gets on your cheeks? It needs to be folded neatly otherwise you're smearing not wiping.
     
  5. Dildo Baggins

    Dildo Baggins
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    I'm such a neat freak when it comes to my shit wiping. I always wear disposable rubber gloves.
     
  6. eraserhead

    eraserhead
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    Dramacrat

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    I fold the paper into cranes and sailor hats before I wipe.
     
  7. O1OO11O1O11O1OO1

    O1OO11O1O11O1OO1
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    Ediot

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    I dont do any of these. I fully wrap it around my hand a few times, then take my hand out. perfect thickness. thats right
     
  8. scumhook

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    I'd have to count this as a fold for the purposes of the survey, however I take your point. There should be a separate category for "rollers".

    Here's a preliminary boobie snap.

    [​IMG]
     
  9. Edgeworth

    Edgeworth
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  10. Anonymous

    Anonymous
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  11. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    I use my hand...
     
  12. LordEnrique

    LordEnrique
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    Dramacrat

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    No love for the humble Bidet?
     
  13. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    We're not french or fancy enough to use the fucking bidet.
     
  14. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    Wipe with cheap toilet paper, you fucking wuss! sandpaper toiletpaper that is abrasive and rough against your asshole is GOOD it puts hairs on your chest!

    WIPE THAT ASS TILL IT'S RAW
     
  15. Immortal_Cake

    Immortal_Cake
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    Noice

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    My ass is diamonds; sandpaper won't do shit to it!
     
  16. ExplosiveDiareah

    ExplosiveDiareah
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    Girlvinyl

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    When you die, would you consider donating your diamond encrusted ass and sphincter to the British museum?
     
  17. Beatrice

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    I've never smeared shit onto my asscheeks, I'm careful when I wipe with my wadded up tp.
     
  18. oddguy

    oddguy
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    The Prime Memeister

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    I simply can not believe people are actually replying to this thread.
     
  19. Immortal_Cake

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    Noice

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    No; Emory.

    You're just jelly you didn't come up with the thread, yourself.
     
  20. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    Scrunch it? What are we, savages?
     
  21. CallMeMaggot

    CallMeMaggot
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    Girlvinyl

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    [​IMG]

    Those and a lot of patience

    When I get a couple hundreds, I make amazing renditions of the Eiffel Tower with them, using the crap leftovers to sculpt tiny figurines of the tourists
     
  22. Atomic_Joe

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    Joevahkiin

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    I thought everyone folded.
     
  23. Beefcake

    Beefcake
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    Best-selling author

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    I fold and wipe until no trace remains, then I use a wetwipe to finish the job.
     
  24. Stormtrooper

    Stormtrooper
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    Baby wipes, you disgusting niggers.
     
  25. oddguy

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    Thats gross.
    i never got people who do that... your anus gets all moist and shit... eeewww...
     
  26. Baya Rae 4900

    Baya Rae 4900
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    Lawlman

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    And then you take a shower, just to be certain.
     
  27. Stormtrooper

    Stormtrooper
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    EDF Elite

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    Baby wipes, followed by tp to dry off..
     
  28. Beefcake

    Beefcake
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    It's not like wet wipes/baby wipes are dripping wet, they're just slightly moist.
     
  29. Stormtrooper

    Stormtrooper
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    Thank you. And 100% more sanitary than simply "smearing" fecal matter everywhere.
     
  30. scumhook

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    If I use baby wipes, I make sure they're made from 100% recycled babies.

    Same with baby oil.

    Accept no imitations.