Another Experiment in ED Punditry

Discussion in 'Religion & Politics' started by Dr. Rice, Apr 19, 2012.

  1. Dr. Rice

    Dr. Rice
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    As I keep telling you, Encyclopedia Dramatica needs to change it's nature in order to become more popular and receive more in revenue that can be used to maintain the site, and then any projects that ED wishes to participate in. Given that ED wants to fuck shit up in mainstream society, having money to do this will be extremely important. While it is all nice and good to keep doing what we do, why should anyone give a shit about a website that does what we do? There are other websites that document internet culture, we no longer have a monopoly which allows us to extort the populace with asking for donations. If ED goes down, some people will complain and suffer, but most people will just go to faggot websites like KYM or OhI. We need to stand above the rest of these queers once again and apply ijtihad to our purpose: documenting the lulz.

    By no means am I advocating radical change, I only advocate that we expand our services and utilize our comparative advantages to their fullest potential. We are known for being unbiased (by being biased from all directions) and an advocate for free speech, arguably one of the better ones on the internet. Few other websites can claim that they are banned in countries as much as we are. We need to exploit this understanding of our subculture to its inevitable conclusion: journalism and punditry.

    We do this very well in the News Subforum, but we need to do more. Because the mainstream media in the United States is endlessly circlejerking about Trayvon Martin and has done nothing to talk about the NDAA, SOPA, PIPA, ACTA, Trespass Bill, etc. their ratings have NEVER EVER been lower. I am talking about MILLIONS OF PEOPLE less people are now using mainstream media. These people haven't stopped seeking the news, they are going onto the Internet for their news. We are a serious entity and we need to snatch up this demographic. We have everything we need to compete in this market, except the willpower to snatch up this demographic.

    http://www.salon.com/2012/04/18/attacks_on_rt_and_assange_reveal_much_about_the_critics/singleton/

    Now another major advocate for free speech is jumping on the free speech bandwagon, we can't let this not-a-true rapist to snag up the entire market.

    Internet culture is taking over IRL society, would you rather have the faggots at KYM, 9GAG, or fucking OhI to be the Internet Emperor? Fuck no, I don't and I'm sure you don't either. They are huge faggots and are fagging up the internet and given their growing power, they wills start fagging up the IRL with their bullshit. We need to crush our competition under the weight of our boots.

    Now back to our punditry:

    http://www.aljazeera.com/news/americas/2012/04/201241820354554192.html

    http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/04/201241682318260912.html

    With the second anniversary of Deepwater Horizon coming up on 4/20, which I plan on celebrating by creating my own oil spill :baked: , the situation continues to reveal itself as more disastrous than any other oil spill in the past. BP was originally bound to pay 20 billion dollars in reparations to local businesses and individuals who have suffered, but instead BP has weaseled their way out of being completely responsible for not only their incompetence with drilling, but their negligent behavior in using their dispersal chemicals (which don't actually remove the oil, it just caused it to sink), which are banned in 17 countries, including the UK. On top of that, multinationals are going to (just give the impending lawsuits time) receive more in "reparations" than actual individuals who are now permanently sick (once you are contaminated by these chemicals, it never leaves the body) due to these chemicals.

    Given that the United States government continues to maintain the line that this food is safe for human consumption, people who are unaware of the extreme danger of the chemicals are going to continue to expose themselves to it. Given that this region of the United States is a large tourist destination, which means that outsiders will likely expose themselves to these chemicals through the consumption of food and water. Not only that, but given that the locals themselves are likely more aware of the problem with their seafood, in order to make money, products will have to be exported onto the global market. One might think that such damaged product will be not bought because people won't buy seafood that looks like this

    [​IMG]

    I have two words for you: Canned seafood. I bet that in the coming months that an influx of canned seafood products will be coming from the Gulf Region, as an empowered individual, I advise you to be more dilligant in purchasing seafood products. I expect as this poison is exported and people start getting sick from the chemicals, popular anger against BP and ultimately the government will continue to grow. When the first anniversary rolled around which coincided with mounting evidence of people starting to get seriously sick, I expected that people would begin to openly protest about this, but at this point, anyone who has been directly effected is now too sick to be much of a threat

    End punditry

    Now I'm not sure how we should precede from here. While I do encourage discussion about the non-punditry part of the OP, I am unsure how you, the other EDitors, should respond to my punditry. My thoughts are that you should either: respond directly to the event with your own opinion or respond to my punditry. Whatever is determined as more interesting commentary should be how we do ED punditry in the future. However you decide to respond to the punditry, I do urge you to be professional and insightful in your response. Treat this like work.
     
  2. m450n_yuno

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    Maybe after all that boring shit, we cigarsex.
    1334762810379.
     
  3. Rev

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    Quite a bit of speculation and grasping at straws; enormous, multinational corporations like BP are especially capable of quashing any minor legal disputes by individuals, or even groups of people. Because all countries are so reliant on oil giants (like BP), they're going to be reluctant to do so much as admonish them, much less force them to pay reparations to people affected by their negligence and their cavalier attitude towards the problem that remained in the ocean for quite a while. You overestimate the fucks governments (especially US government) give about corporate fuck-ups.
     
  4. Rev

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    Also, the Occupy Wall Street event was a rather stellar example of how little the government cares about popular opinion
     
  5. Dr. Rice

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    Where do I state I overestimate the government to care? Obviously they don't care since they are telling people to eat animals that are clearly very sick.

    I am aware of that. It is only a matter of time before violent revolution breaks out.
     
  6. Manicute

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    Thread marked as spam.
     
  7. Rev

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    Your wording and tone somewhat implied that you expected that the government would eventually cave to meet the demands of the plaintiffs
     
  8. Andria Kilgore

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    U are marked as an assburger.
     
  9. Manicute

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    U r marked as a useless sad OLD bag of werefail xp
     
  10. Andria Kilgore

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    O rly? Old
     
  11. BizarrePsycho

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    We'll never be as popular as less offensive media. Most people can't see things as a joke and laugh at themselves from time to time.

    But maybe we can try anyway. Who knows. Maybe we can change the world....
     
  12. ge5undhe17

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    OP, I'm intrigued of the double standards practiced. Asian seafood would be rejected by the US market due to being 'toxic' and unsafe yet the seafood affected by Deepwater is canned for consumption. What?

    hurrr ur shrimp has hydrocarbons, rejected
     
  13. Ronny

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    I can't believe I actually read all that stuff
     
  14. Beefcake

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    Yawn, typical rice-shit, did not read.
     
  15. PerpetuallyAroused

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    tl;dr @oddguy delete thisd thread please.
     
  16. Allele

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    tl;dr

    Shrimp are people too.
     
  17. Helix

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    Perhaps it was a bad idea to skim. How I i get from making ED more popular to buying shrimp? Eh, I'll come back and read it again when I'm more sober, somebody remind me.
     
  18. PerpetuallyAroused

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  19. oddguy

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    Here,this fellow has the right idea:


    Sorry rice.
    All I see is a wall of pink text and a picture of shrimp. I refuse to read this.
     
  20. Akula

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    I never eat seafood so I don't care. ED is fucked along with the rest of the internet.
    Either we construct our own internet-like deity (dark web / usenet ), or allow our personal freedoms to be curbed.
    The media has the shortest attention span in existence, and only reports openly liberal bias. Fox News has literally become less biased compared to the radical left. Politics are going to shit.
    Look at the internet now. Meme culture is in the w0rst decline ever seen. A meme dies faster than you can say Nope, Chuck Testa. Older memes are being beaten like a dead horse. 4chan no longer creates much popular content and has become much more noticeable. The decline of image boards and growth of websites such as KYM and 9gag reflect the need of instant gratification in the youth today. Not only that, but their refusal to work and downright laziness (Meme Generator, Occupy Wall Street)
    Humanity is pretty much fucked anyways, since we didn't evolve think, just reproduce and die. existential crises become more and more prevalent in the more intelligent, while the less intelligent become much more like animals. Morals disintegrate as tradition has become viewed as against change. Thus is the course of technology though.
     
  21. PerpetuallyAroused

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    please lock it
     
  22. molb*

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    PerpA just wanted a jew to look at shellfish.
     
  23. Ronny

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  24. hkh

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  25. Aroukar

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    You know how embarrasing was the rickroll in the Macy's parade? It was pure undistilled anti-lulz. The horrible thing, is that the masses gobled it up, like shit from a newfag's anus.

    In all seriousness, if you want to help the fight for 'Great Justice', cast the first stone.
     
  26. uberfukken

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    [​IMG]

    i looked real hard, but couldn't seem to find the words niggers, cocks, dongs, or faggots anywhere in that article. do i need to update my browser?
     
  27. Groucho Marxist

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    america isn't ready for revolution, they'll eat their poison fish and like it
     
  28. n1bblir

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    I started reading.. it was something about ED getting revenue, wait, isn't this what happened to the old ED, then that fat cunt Shippo the hippo closed it down and said that "shock for shock is passe!" or something like that? Yeah that won't happen, again I hope, because I need something to do between masturbating. Then stuff about oil and shrimp, tl;dr I got lost when I started to get a migraine from all that pink..

    Speaking about masturbating however, on a related but unrelated topic the hijabititty-jibb-jibb should be banned from anyone wearing it in public muslims or otherwise, except for porn. Yeah that's pretty hot if they wore it in porn. MUSLIM PORN FTW!
     
  29. skylerconcarne

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    Cool thread.
     
  30. Scorch

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    Niggers.