Adventures in drug buying: NEW FRIEND! POWERFUL ALLIES.

Discussion in 'Food, Drugs & Alcohol' started by Flu, Mar 21, 2013.

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  1. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    HEY GANG!
    Hey gang.

    So, as some of you maybe have heard, from time to time I like to do drugs. Over the past several months I have found a really great lady dealer who, despite being moody (what women AREN'T, right guys?? *brofist*) she's always fair with her prices and you always get what you pay for, quantity-wise; points are always points - quarters always quarters, etc et al.

    But now her super scary "man" is back, just out of prison. For real, he was locked away for a few years on aggravated assault charges, but in reality, he and two other guys for real murdered a guy in one city and dumped the body in another city. I don't know the specifics, but for some reason they couldn't peg the [drug related / beef related] murder on him or his crew. So they slapped him with the AA charges instead.
    Here in town, he's a big deal. His name's known. And now he's my dealer, taking over his wife's business.

    When I first met him a few weeks ago, right after he got out, he treated me like a real piece of shit. But the lady, luckily, told him to lay off me because I'm one of her best "custies." So now, the guy just dogs me all the time on the phone and at his house -- but being dumb and lippy, I've taken to using my superior mind on making clever comebacks.

    Long, boring story short -- he pulled a gun on me a few days ago, after I implied I was an undercover SWAT agent, there to take him down "once and for all."
    I nearly shit my pants when he pulled his piece on me. I genuinely thought I was going to get shot. But then he's like:

    "AAAHHAHAHAHAH GOTCHA FAGGOT!! Oh man, what a bitch! _The look on your face!!!_"

    So after my body slurped the liquid shit back up into my colon, where it belongs, I began really ripping with SUPER MEAN, EDF-quality, mega gross jokes.

    And now we're pals!
    In fact, I just hungout with him and his old lady about an hour ago. He kept making "jokes" about punching me out. So I told him that I understand I'm a very punchable guy. He likes that I humble myself, but also when I rip on him, it's like, SO brutal and dirty.

    So, I just thought I'd make a TL;DR article about how I'm not becoming fast friends with a genuine cold blooded killer of men.

    Thanks for reading, gang!!


    TL;DR? I'm becoming friends with an actual murderer.
     
  2. Slavoj Jizzek

    Slavoj Jizzek
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    Girlvinyl

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    I'm an evil Scotsman and my name is Jock
    This is the reason I've never experimented with anything besides caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol.
     
  3. MrGask

    MrGask
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    #FreeGask

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    If you were the hardcore druggie you claim to be, you would be making friends with murder, instead or murderers.
     
  4. oddguy

    oddguy
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    The Prime Memeister

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    Are you trying to impress us, you shit?
     
  5. Die In A Fire

    Die In A Fire
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    Presutable Woard

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    lol sounds like a naruto episode
     
  6. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    how many murderers are you friends with??

    oh wait. probably tons, what with the daily killing and grinding of Palestinian children into the rubble. i guess when you're IDF, only knowing ONE cold blooded killer isn't very impressive. i gotcha.
     
  7. Solution

    Solution
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    Everyone is boring

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    You have but one option laid before you: Grab what is best in life!
    To crush your enemy, see him driven before you and to hear the lamentations of his woman!
    Flunan the Dongstroyer.
     
  8. Flu

    Flu
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    EDF Elite

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    hahahahah man, that's fucking FANTASTIC!! well done, sir! you're a champ.
     
  9. Fraud Based Economy

    Fraud Based Economy
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    Disinherited Nigerian Prince

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    It's all fun and games until he tries to hide evidence from his next murder at your house.
     
  10. uberfukken

    uberfukken
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    Rainmaker

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    Cute. Pull that shit around here and the look on his face will be abstract art.
     
  11. Slavoj Jizzek

    Slavoj Jizzek
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    Girlvinyl

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    I'm an evil Scotsman and my name is Jock
    We all know dealers can't read.
     
  12. Druggalo

    Druggalo
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    Dramacrat

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    I used to work with a guy from Nuestra Familia who had close ties to Sinaloa. He also pulled his gun on me (Mexican gangsters almost always do that when they first meet white people), but I was too stoned to care, and I won his respect. That guy became like a brother to me over the course of time, but he just got locked up last year, and I can't figure out where the fuck he's at. Now the place is fucking overrun with sewer rats and ricketts who don't give you what you pay for half the time.

    Those guys were murdering people every other weekend, though. Probably more. I used to think black gangs were violent, but then I met the Mexicans...