A New Challenger

Discussion in 'News' started by MrGask, Feb 29, 2012.

  1. MrGask

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    Angry white kid T.J. Lane went for the high score in the school shooting event yesterday. Sadly, this cheeky newcomer only achieved a score of 3, with two possibles still awaiting judgement. This places him outside the running, as he also failed to stick the landing and has been taking into custody.

    [​IMG]
    He kind of looks like a more muscled Jean "Fumo" Faggort.

    Story
    His Facebook maybe
     
  2. The Lieutenant

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    So were those the guns he used? Left one looks like a Colt of some kind (Maybe a Ruger?), which is an unexpected weapon to see in the hands of a school shooter. Right one looks to be a Beretta.
     
  3. PerpetuallyAroused

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    I'm lolling at how emo his poetry is.
     
  4. The Lieutenant

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    Nevermind, Sez he used a .22 for the shooting, so neither of the guns in the picture, I'm thinking.
     
  5. BakaRed

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    I bet his Xbox made him do it, and I bet he trained on CoD. After all, duck hunt made me such an expert marksman that I was able to snipe some people in Branson, MO last night and make it look like a twister did it.
     
  6. $$Trooper

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    Faggot emo kid shoots up school.
    Something about castles... can we work Skyrim into this?
     
  7. Lord Raptor

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    Eh... is he trying to emulate Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver?
     
  8. $$Trooper

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    No, looks more like he was trying to emulate Cho Sung Hoi
    [​IMG]
    Except monumentally more faggy.
     
  9. Bottom Feeder

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    He is a better shooter than poet, that's for sure.
     
  10. hkh

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    i live 15 minutes away from there and his mother lives like a street down from me
    so dissssssapoint he didnt even go for the high score

    already so annoyed of the coverage this moron is getting
     
  11. MrGask

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    Post pictures of his house so we can make fun of how the lawn has never been mowed and there is a stack of TVs in the side yard.
     
  12. hkh

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    where he lived was like surrounded by woods

    i might drve by there though sometime this week
    if i do i will
     
  13. oddguy

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    Take pictures of his house and post 'em.
     
  14. Rape Train

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    Pretty obvious this is the kids ploy to get his poetry noticed.
     
  15. uberfukken

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    no not a challenger. this shouldnt even be considered a school shooting. he was bawwwing over his slut girlfriend and shot up the new bf and his friends. no hate for humans, no an hero, no high score. he is just a faggot with a gun.
     
  16. hkh

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    they said that that wasnt even the motive
    there was talk about that
    but from what ive read in the papers
    he just wanted to shoot people
     
  17. I_Cant

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    <insert hellsing quote here>
     
  18. Rape Train

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    He actually planned all of this out. He figured he'd shoot some people, enough to ensure a confirmed kill or two. Then he'd let himself be captured by the police. Since he's 17, there's no way he's going to see the death penalty. He'll get something like a life sentence. But realistically he'll probably be out by the time he's 70.
    This is where his plan gets creative. He's going to self publish a book of poetry on Kindle after he's sentenced to not death. And pissed off loner kids everywhere will buy it, because he acted on his bitchy emotions. Faggot did it. The kids that love school shooters? This kid will become their Faulkner. He'll be there voice, because he "totally gets what they're going through". The hundred thousand or so kids out there that feel like shooting up a school but won't because they're not completely batshit insane are going to think to themselves "He's so cool. He's what I aspire to. If I buy his book, we become friends right?". Then he'll take the hundred thousand dollars he inevitably earns, and dumps into a savings account. By the time he gets out it'll be worth millions. Probably.

    After that literary success, he'll drop off the radar. Then, after he's released from prison he'll write a tell all book explaining "his long path to redemption". He'll have been raped. He'll have been beaten by guards. He'll have made all of it up (Well, probably not the twink part. But he'll make it sound nonconsentual). Then, at the long end of his journey he finds peace with what he did. This book will be the sort of book that Oprah would put her seal of approval on. And in the fifty or so years when he's released, if there's a replacement for Oprah, she'll give her seal of approval. The book will be at the top of the best sellers lists for weeks. He'll make millions more, since this will be self published through whatever Kindle has become. By the time they all realize the sodomy wasn't forced on him, it'll be too late. He'll have some a brain surgery to put his mind into a 25 year old female body husk. (They'll be able to grow bodies for transplants, but there will be an underground market for husks, which are just braindead shells that rich criminals / Emily use to gain a new identity. There are also husks for spies and shit. I just pulled all of that out of my ass, but if it doesn't play like that; he'll still be rich, and the average life time will probably be like 120 when he gets out. So he'll have fifty years to jack off and laugh at the American public.

    I hope he gets the death penalty. Not because he killed some worker drones (Which is criminal, those worker drones would have done more for society than him, I'm sure). No, he should be executed because he obviously didn't have a super fucking awesome plan that spans the course of 120 years, so why should he get rewarded in my fictional universe for a crime he committed purely out of his deep, deep hate of manning the fuck up and dealing with problems like an adult instead of being a pussy that can only take on another 17 year old boy with a gun? I mean, I'd probably respect this kid if it turned out he wasn't even an emo faggot, but really some sort of super villain who just aimed his sights lower than the rest of his world domination minded kin.
     
  19. I_Cant

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    ...

    why didn't I think of that 4 years ago?
     
  20. Baya Rae 4900

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    I'm not surprised he only got three. He doesn't really seem motivated, you know?
     
  21. uberfukken

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    wishful thinking: emo prison book makes millions
    reality: profits go to victims families + buttrape
     
  22. TheDukeOfCrowns

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    4 years into prison he's gonna go "what have I done". Idiot just pissed away his life.

    But still 3 kills is pathetic for the guns he had. No even on the ladderboards

    What I want is a badass that goes onto a school dressed as a gunslinger and kills 40 people with a revolver. That's legendary status.
     
  23. hkh

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    woahh buddy TLDR most of that
    he cant get the death penalty because of his age
    i dont belive he was an emo faggot from what ive heard
    what im pissed about it the fact that
    EVERYONE around here wont stfu about it
    and "knows someone who knows someone who was there"
    like some bitch at my work was all upset and crying
    becuse her cousins friend went to that school
    so.fucking.annoying.
    and everyone is wearing these stupid red fucking ribbons
    RAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
     
  24. MrGask

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